Totally don't know how to blog, what the heck is a gadget?? We'll see how successful I am at this. While I was selecting my template I selected this background because I was thinking that the grass was cute. Come to find out there are dandelions on this background which is what we're decorating Natalie's nursery in.... I love it!
So, this coming Monday (the 12th) it will be week 12 in the NICU with sweet Natalie Grace. This past week has put me in a slump. It's hard to watch all of the babies around you get discharged and not have an idea of when it will be your turn. I am excited for these parents but anxiously awaiting our turn. There was a day this week where I overheard the mom next to us sharing with her friend about how their baby will be going home that next day, she was excited about how well his feedings were going and about the abundance of breast milk she has. I think that her baby was in the NICU for five days which for them I'm sure was hard, they don't know any different. All I could do was cry because I'm not having this same experience right now. Natalie's nurse was by my side during this moment and she just held me, encouraged me and shared tears with me. Four other nurses quickly came to help in encouraging me as well. It's pretty awesome how God has placed these women and men in our lives to help us along in this journey. I shared with my nurse that day that it's no fun being neighbors with the bed for short NICU stay babies. For some reason bed number 13 has a quick turn-around time. She laughed and said that she'll move Natalie over to number 13 after the current resident gets discharged. Just an idea... maybe the overnighter's should have their own private section of the NICU so the longtimers don't have to witness how quick their stay was.
Not sure if this will comfort you any but you guys will probalby be out before Thurston :).....but yea I know how you feel. I think we have probably seen at least 100 babies come and go since March 8th and there have been many moments that I have broken down and cried at seeing people pass by his crib with a suitcase and carseat in hand. I can say at this point, I have finally come to terms with my sons lung issues(we WILL be going home on oxygen) and that he is just going to take longer than most kiddos, and bask in the joy of all of his progress.(I know sometimes waaaaay easier said than done). You have been through so much and I would love to chat more as we were also told a million things before Thurston was born(they thought he had a chromosonal abnormality, heart defect etc. and that he would pass away) and so your journey has been much longer than the 12 weeks and it takes its toll. Your daughter is beautiful and I so hope she is home soon with her family and in her mammas arms where she belongs. Your blog is beautiful and touching, keep writing, I love reading it!!!!!
ReplyDeleteHey Jennifer - I understand how you feel. I think being on our side of the NICU makes it even harder because the healthier babies are over there and they come and go more quickly. We have only been there 6 weeks and I have had the same feeling you describe a ton of times. I know Natalie will be going home soon and I can't begin to imagine how frustrating it must be for you. Know that I'm thinking of you!
ReplyDeleteIf it makes you feel any better, bed 23 seems to have a quick turnover rate too. I think we have had at least 20 babies next to us in that bed. I overheard one dad ask the nurse, "Do you mean we are going to have to stay over the weekend?" as if that is just the worst-case scenario he could imagine. I wanted to scream at him, "Let me tell you what a long time is. We've been here 4 months. We've spent 4 holidays - Easter, Mother's Day, Father's Day, and July 4th here, so your one little weekend of a NICU visit (I don't even call that a stay)isn't so bad." Then I had to remind myself that he probably thought that was bad, and I should mind my own business. I agree with you that there really should be a short stay area so the rest of us aren't tortured with what we can't have yet on a daily basis.
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